Are you someone who says “dementia – that’ll never happen to me or my family” … or are you someone who is aware of dementia and the impact that it is having on a family member, who will want to learn more and get the right support in place.
At Ivy House we believe wholeheartedly in the power of community with support coming from multiple avenues not just one. Engaging with multiple family members can bring huge support but interestingly we meet families all the time where there is a split, half the family accept the situation and are working hard to establish a routine and support. The other half of the family are pushing against the need for support, dismissing cries for help as nonsense. Don’t let this be you. Whatever your relationship to your loved whose memory isn’t quite as it was.
Why should we let this illness get away with pushing families apart and not together?
The success stories that we are witness to are the families that work together in a tag team supporting loved ones, establishing a routine to help life turn not the ones that wont sit in a room together and won’t listen to the valuable advice that is available to them.
It could be popping in once a week, once a month, or once a quarter but establish something that works, if everyone is doing a little bit, we can assure you everyone will benefit.
It’s not about visiting and leaping about doing jobs, although I appreciate that this is also a necessity but MAKE THE TIME to sit, to be still, you don’t need to fill the silence with chatter, you need to fill it with love and compassion. Your loved one will be feeling quite frightened most of the time. Lost and confused and it’s hard to read but they are the facts.
Those of you with your heads buried in the sand, don’t be the person who said, I should have, I wish I had … do it now and if it feels difficult that’s because it is, BUT if you simplify your care, you’ll see the person is still that person. Perhaps you’ll not have the conversations that you used to, but take a step into their world; it might not make sense and sound like nonsense to you, but their references and memories could be a new connection and shared memory for you both. Just go with it. Make memoires now with them as they are …
Try it and look after one another, not just those with dementia but everyone because relationships and kindness make the world turn.
If you would like to learn more about the work that we do at Ivy House and the support that is available, we would love to meet you for an informal conversation. No pressure just expert advice on tap. That’s what we do at Ivy House.